What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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