An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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