bronson watt walks into a bar.

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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