What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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I'm hungry.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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