What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

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Netflix and chill

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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God

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Arrow in the Knee!

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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Im gay What about you

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops