Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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pee

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baskets

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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