Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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Black people

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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Vote this up

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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