New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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