whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops