a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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hi jonny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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