What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

What do you get when you cross the color pink and pie? A penis ate the answer.

What's brown and sticky? Anal

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

Smeg...

What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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