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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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