their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops