A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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Miscarriages.

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A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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My Boyfriend

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Women's rights.

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Women's Rights

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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