A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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One day a man walked into a wall

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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