Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

Ain't idn't a word.

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

Asians

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

What's blue? The sky.

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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