At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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