Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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