How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Hi

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Your grandma's cookies.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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