Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Wanker

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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you will like this because i am black.

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops