What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Womens rights

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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VAL SUCKS

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops