What is black and white and red all over? Micheal Jackson being torchured

Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

What made the lady dance? Bandz!

What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

cats are pussies

7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

have safe sex

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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