How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -16

on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops