What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops