why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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