How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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SBB

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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