What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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Waffles ate my grandma

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops