A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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A sober Irish individual.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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