what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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http://www.dafk.net/what/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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