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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadillac going over a cliff? It was my cadillac

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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