There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Did you hear about the guy who came onto his best friend's wife? Yeah, she handed him some kleenex after and told him to wipe it off.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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