Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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Justin Bieber

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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