I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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why did the man buy kool aid? because it was on sale and he was thirsty

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops