What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops