i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Neil Lewis

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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One day a man walked into a wall

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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24

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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