Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What does water taste like? Water

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Boston was having so much fun everyone was running and screaming

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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im at school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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