roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One day a man walked into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -24

FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops