Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Waffles ate my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops