What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Ahem. Testicles. That is all.

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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mark lawson likes boys

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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