Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops