- Anti Joke

What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a btch and mum was calling dad a bstard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sht". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, Fck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello btches and bstards. Mums upstairs stuffing sht on her face and dads in the kitchen fcking the turkey".

Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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