a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Tunechi

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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kill yourself

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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