What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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hey, my names mark.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Knock knock

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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