How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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an athiest walks into a church

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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