Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -10

yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No soap radio

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

bronson watt walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Rush Limbaugh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops