I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Refrigerator

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Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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Liverpool City Football Club

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lol

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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69

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops