Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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