Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

What page are you on The gay page.

antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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