Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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