Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -2

just in time?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

djkldfnblfnbofgb

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Women's Rights Movement

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops