What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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