Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

cancer

Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

You all have Aids

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

oh hai

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...