How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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YOLO

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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